print ‘Hello world!\n’;

Why write Effective Perl when you can complain about Defective Perl? Negativity is so much more cathartic and soul cleansing, plus you get to be really, really bitter about things you don’t really understand. You know you want to, after slaving all day fixing the mistakes of your coworkers, seeing hundreds of new and interesting Perl::Critic errors, and discovering the test suite is really just a series of pass() statements. That’s supposing that your coworkers use any of the tens of thousands of modules on CPAN, or even more than the five built-ins that they know. Or, worse yet, they’re converting everything to Moose because someone told them that it’s “modern” Perl.

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